The Monogamous Bisexual

Eponymous Fliponymous

Two of the biggest problems faced by bisexual people are homophobia – and for bisexuals, the homophobia in the non-queer community includes some specific issues of biphobia, as well as the biphobia from within the queer community – and bisexual erasure.  One approach to combating biphobia (and therefore allowing us to address homophobia more effectively) is to bust the myths about bisexuality that biphobia manifests.

There are plenty of documents and presentations floating around that take on 5 or 10 or 14 myths.  I have one myself, over on Facebook.  In this space, I want to try taking them on in more detailed ways – there are only so many times you can generate a list of myths and one or two sentences of rebuttal each.  Here I want to dig a little deeper and try to take on root myths, or individual false stories one at a time.


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Hello Old Friend

I went to visit you today.

Standing tall and proud in your forever home, blanketed from the wind by a thick layer of moss. Freshly placed flowers at your feet, a gift from a friend. Looking out over your favourite house and able to admire the natural beauty all around you, any time, every day, its all yours now.

I cried, the first time I’ve cried since I got here four days ago. The first time its felt real since I got here. I walked up and hugged you, you felt warm and soft thanks to the moss, but strong and calm underneath, like the tree you now embody. You are the tree, you are the moss, you are the grass on the ground and all the plants around. Your ashes feed and nourish, giving new life to the bulbs your family planted for you. Come the spring birds and squirrels will nest in your branches while your dogs play around your roots. You may not look the same as before, taller, stronger and your colours have changed from blues to greens, but it is you, all you, definitely you.

So I finally say farewell my friend, but not goodbye, there’s a piece of you in my heart forever and if I need to see you, to talk to you directly, I know where you are. Watching over your loved ones from the great height you have now achieved, may this new life be a long and happy one, free from the pains that plagued your life before. Finally able to rest, may you continue to inspire others for generations to come in the beautiful peace and quiet that is your new home. I miss you, I love you, be well my Friend.

Can I Get a Feminist Character?

Feminist in the Maddening Crowd


Meet Go Go Tomago, one of the 6 heros in Pixar’s new film Big Hero 6. She’s attending university, she’s building a kick-ass bike, she uses awesome catch-phrases like “woman up”, and has crazy talent with mechanics.

She’s also moody, dark, and kinda stand-offish. Sigh. Why can’t there be a strong, talented female that we don’t have to attach such shitty characteristics to? Her first interaction with the film’s protagonist Hero paints her as a kind of rude, unwelcoming character:

watch clip here:

I’m not saying that women have to be friendly and smiley all the time. But context is important. She’s meeting her close friend’s little brother. Would a “Nice to meet ya” be too much to ask? As a female, does Pixar feel that she have to be moody to counter-balance her skill in electro-mag-suspension (whatever the heck that is)?


Now meet Honey Lemon…

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TEN Ways to Encourage #Victims of Any Age to #Report #Sexual and Other #Abuse

Sally Ember, Ed.D.

Because of the uproar over the continually surfacing reports of sexual assault perpetrated by Bill Cosby on now-adult (or then-adult) women, these topics are now front-and-center in the media and, I hope, in private as well. Why do people refrain from reporting right after having been assaulted? Many reasons.

Let’s NOT give them reasons to keep silent any more!

Here are TEN Ways to Encourage #Victims of Any Age to #Report #Sexual and Other #Abuse. Learn, use them, SHARE!

Believe what they tell you until you’re sure one way or the other. This is the one situation in which the accused should be considered guilty until proven innocent, especially when children are the victims. It is hard enough to come forward with a report of an assault, especially after a long time has passed. The likelihood that this report is false is very low.

Be outraged on their…

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Banning Women Enjoying Sex is Top of UK Government’s Priorities


A new list has been released of everything that has been added to the banned list of acts in UK porn which are spanking, caning, aggressive whipping (as opposed to passive whipping), penetration by any object “associated with violence”, female ejaculation(!), strangulation, facesitting and fisting.

Where to even begin.

The last three were banned on grounds of being life endangering, so a moment of silence is encouraged for those who have died during facesitting. Perhaps the most unsung heroes of our times. Now, everybody who used to be allowed to get their face sat on are going to set fire to things. Men everywhere will meet in large unruly mobs to try and work out ways for them to sit on their own faces, only to find out that it’s impossible. Hundreds die. Towns collapse. Cheers, Cameron, thanks a lot.

However water sports weren’t included in the life endangering list…

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