Banning Women Enjoying Sex is Top of UK Government’s Priorities

hollyyouell

A new list has been released of everything that has been added to the banned list of acts in UK porn which are spanking, caning, aggressive whipping (as opposed to passive whipping), penetration by any object “associated with violence”, female ejaculation(!), strangulation, facesitting and fisting.

Where to even begin.

The last three were banned on grounds of being life endangering, so a moment of silence is encouraged for those who have died during facesitting. Perhaps the most unsung heroes of our times. Now, everybody who used to be allowed to get their face sat on are going to set fire to things. Men everywhere will meet in large unruly mobs to try and work out ways for them to sit on their own faces, only to find out that it’s impossible. Hundreds die. Towns collapse. Cheers, Cameron, thanks a lot.

However water sports weren’t included in the life endangering list…

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