So things have been tough, lots of stuff, most difficult in its own way, too much to deal with. It’d have been hard even if not worn out, but I am worn out, and overwhelmed.
And despite all my hard work to rectify or process these things, new stuff just keeps coming up.
Of course, any new thing no matter how comparatively small is going to keep topping up my already full stress bucket. So at times I’m not dealing with stuff as well as I could. Certainly that’s how I feel.
Maybe I am doing (mostly) the right things. Maybe
Right now I could easily lay into my supervisor. It’s a good thing she doesn’t work Fridays, I need more time to calm down before I speak to her.
And it really really REALLY doesn’t help that my former dealer (a stereotypical pusher who loved me, or rather loved my money, I would hand over huge amounts of it regularly) after stalking me for years has now taken to parking just around the corner from mine. On my regular route. Usually I can ignore that familiar triggering car, pretend it’s not there, and definitely Not make eye contact with the arseholes inside.
Other, more stressful times, it’s really fucking hard.
So now I am hiding in the office at work, not prepping for my group, and crying. Hoping nobody walks in.