Four days in a row I have ‘forgotten’ or missed completely at least one dose of my meds.
This is not good
I have concluded that I am subconsciously rebelling against the monotonous drudgery of chemical medication. I don’t want to be on any, to be honest I fucking hate it, but with the guidance of my pain clinic I am coming around to accepting that they do help (despite all the awful side effects)
My long term goal, my dream is to be medication free, and I haven’t given up on that. Though I did relent to my pain nurse at the clinic and agree to a compromise, so I gotta at least try, which I have been, even though it meant a MASSIVE increase, certainly for the time being. Which after half my life on some form of medication is so not the way I wanted to be headed.
These missed doses are, I believe, my own reservations and frustration coming out. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t blame myself. I just wish the consequences weren’t so drastic!